Esperança
by Laifan
Summary: EXTREME SPOILERS FOR CHAPTER 364. Therefore, can't tell you much. Uh...contains a bit of Shunsui/Ukitake and respective zanpakutous . A bit angsty? Seriously, how could it be not ; I still suck at titles, what else is new? R&R plz


**A/N:** Hey guys, it's fic time again! I decided that instead of just spitting fire to Kubo, I should use the angsty turn of events to write some hopefully not as angsty and very spoilerfic (for chapter 364) fic. Hope you enjoy~

**Esperança**

It had all happened too fast. One moment he was fighting, challenging the dangerous man, doing his best to take the battle lightly, trying to gain time to analyse the Arrancar's attack patterns so that they could come up with a tactic. Then, that huge, well ithing/i was the only way he could describe it, had appeared along with the young Arrancar boy. His first thought about him was that he seemed innocent enough, but that beyond his looks belied a true murderous nature.

He hadn't even felt pain – at least not immediately. He had merely felt something move by his back and the next thing he knew he was seeing a bloodied hand coming through his clothes. He had lived his life staring at his own bloody hands after coughing fits. But…this hand wasn't his own. There was pain as usual, blood as usual but…_something_ wasn't quite right. What alerted him more was the look on Shunsui's face. He knew that look. He had seen that level of despair on his companion's face when he had been too sick, too close to the end. But there had always been a flicker of hope at those times. Hope and trust. Hope that he would pull through. Trust in his strength. And he always had made through. He always had met his gaze with a loving one, even when he could no longer speak, when he couldn't even breathe properly. Because Shunsui had always been there by his side. So he knew he was never alone.

But now, looking at Shunsui's shocked face, he saw only despair. True fear and despair for him. He wanted to assure him once again that he would be fine. But in those seconds his mind hadn't even assimilated what had happened. He felt fear, real fear for once. Because Shunsui had his back turned to the enemy. You never, ever let your guard down in the middle of battle, no matter who you saw hurt, no matter how many comrades fell at your side. That had been one of the first lessons they had learnt at the academy. He wanted to scream at the other captain, his own eyes widening with distress and anguish as the pain finally hit him. But he couldn't draw his breath to warn Shunsui, couldn't utter a sound past the searing fire in his chest. Then he saw a huge light as the air rushed past him during his fall. Was this real? He had always thought he rather go out fighting than slowly grow weak and die due to his illness. He had been ready for death all his life. But this wasn't right because Shunsui had _never_ been part of the equation. He wanted to live. But most of all he wanted his friend, his lover to live.

He thought he heard a familiar voice shouting their names as the edge of the world grew dark. He tried as hard he could to cling to consciousness but his body was betraying his will once again. In the midst of despair he thought he heard the sound of thunder and soothing waves. Those things always calmed him. Lightning storms and the raging sea - so very deep and frightening, yet so very relaxing. He listened to those things, listened to their gentle, untimed voices.

_Fear not. This is not the end. We still have many battles to fight, many springs to witness. We can still fight_

Yes, they did. He only hoped he could watch the trees blooming in this next Spring together with Shunsui, as usual. Just for an instant, he thought he could smell the sweet fragrance of sakura blossoms above the scent of his own blood. His eyes widened when two blurry, yet familiar shapes materialized by him, their arms strong like tree roots embracing twin, fragile looking figures. He couldn't see their expressions - could hardly see anything anymore - but he knew that their faces reflected his will and determination to live.


End file.
